Splitsvilla - Where love is War

Am watching “Splitsvilla – where love is war” at the moment. Love for me is trust, understanding, supporting your partner and commitment. For others this looks to be associated with gaining something out of a relationship. Don’t know whether you call me “old fashioned” or whatever. I mean I feel more than anything else people out there are learning how to betray others, backbite them and so on. You may be wondering then why the hell do I watch? I watch it to see the depths to which our Gen ‘X’ is going to win the competition rather than finding true love. People are busy flirting but some still manage to forge some genuine relationships. I feel you need a specific kind of mindset to be in such a place. Contestants try to act so smart by pasting an innocent look on their face as if they never knew what’s going around. And you should listen to their comments off-screen later on. They are jealous, ill tempered, untrustworthy, and insecure and fame hungry.

They want such partners for love. Would this culminate into marriage or these girls would remain arm-candies for the rest of their life. If anyone thinks these would end up getting married I must say I feel lie laughing out loud. One question to all those guys, “Is your mom dressed like this or are you not coming from houses wherein your mothers are always dressed in demure salwar kameezes or sarees all the time?”; “do you see your mothers jumping from one lap to other bitching around?” No matter what, no guy on this show would marry any of these females.

You should see them dancing. I feel as if they are going to fuse with the other person. I mean Hey!! You guys are no TV. Dance, by all means dance, but dance with some amount of decency. Don’t stick to each other like ambar-dhara.

The use of profanity is rampant in the show. Every now and then you hear more beeps than actual words. It must be so disheartening for parents to see their kids mouthing such beautiful vocabulary at such an amazing speed. Even today I don’t utter such nonsense and even if I do I feel bad about it and look around to check whether I have an elder eavesdropping or not. If I were their mother (any one of the boys’ or girls’) I would have been so ashamed of myself and the kind of upbringing I have given to my kids. They kind of cuddle around; wear dresses which give them ample opportunity to show the other what’s exactly beneath those dresses without actually taking them off.

Love is no longer emotional for us; it’s all about getting physical, satisfying your thirst. Once quenched, go on to the next man /woman. Gone are the days of true and unwavering love. Gone are the days of the eternal and my all time favourite Mills and Boon.

Reality bites

Every man expects one’s partner to be the best and almost good at everything. He wants her to be all that a man’s heart truly desires. For example, in terms of looks, body, attitude, behavior (both personal as well as social) etc. She should be the one who does things before being told. She would read him like a book, never nag him and be his best buddy at all the times. I have heard of married men, a few whom I know them so well (or prefer to think that way) are often happily married but have a girl buddy who is so close to their heart. Often these intimacies of friendship are developed during office hours, in due course of tight schedules and meeting deadlines. And there lies the wife either at home tending to the kids or at her office trying to make a career of her own, blissfully unaware of her husband’s growing “friendship”.

But has a man ever thought, whether he is the ideal man for his woman? Is he really the man of her dreams, her knight in shining armour? Expectations are every human being’s birth right. But that doesn’t grant a man more rights to have his expectations that a woman? If the positions are reversed would a husband welcome with open arms this new male friend of his wife/partner?

Are rules so different for men and women? Or we simply assume to be the silent sleeping partner in the relationship taking “subtly emotional insults” lying down?

Childhood Returns

I wish I was Calvin for once. If I cud do this I wud love the rain even more.

Happy New Year

Yesterday we celebrated our Bengali New Year. We went to temple, prayed and then I came back and was sitting at my husband's grandma's place. Near the Kitchen I noticed these small wild mushrooms. Come rain and these wild ones can be seen almost everywhere. So I took my phone started clicking then right-away. well doesn't look edible at all and I don't even want to try them.

And Well to everybody out there, Shubho Naubo Baursho (Happy New Year).

Slurp Slurp...

This pic was taken when I was visiting the Kalibari ( temple of Maa Kali) during my evening walks. This is the inside the temple near the temple courtyard. The dog was busy licking off the water to quench his thirst. I sat there for a while to say my prayers and then walked off.

My first Holi

These two are the pic of my first holi with my in laws. Havent been playing Holi since a very long time. I was a little apprehensive about the whole thing but then it turned out be smooth. I didnt allow too much of color to stay on my face. Had fun, nay loads of it.

(Dullu masi , myself and Meera aunty)

(Cousin Rithika, my husband, my back, my MIL, Dullu masi,Meera aunty and friends Kalyan and Imran)

The Circle of life

There is an old saying in Hindi

"Boye pedh babool ka to aam kahan se hoye" which means that if you sow the plant of babool (a resin secreating plant with thorns) then it will never grow in to a tree of mangoes. Or in other words "you reap what you sow". I have seen many a close relatives and friends not staying with their in-laws or extended family. There are people who are surprised when I tell them that I stay with my inlaws and I intend to go on doing the same. They give me that incredulous look and treat me in a way as if I have uttered something out of this world.

But staying with parents is so natural to me and I have done it all my life. Its just that earlier I stayed with my parents and now after marriage I stay with my husband's parents. And these seems just the most right thing for me to do. And also now that I am expecting my little bundle of joy, I feel I am one of those blessed ones whose child will get the love and affection of grandparents, cousins, uncles and aunts.

Back to the saying. When you yourself dont stay with your family, you cant never expect your children to do the same. I have seen parents being afraid of the fact that what they had done will come and haunt them and their kids would do the same to them too. This is called the circle of life. I always tell this to others and very religiously follow it. If you do good to others then good things will happen to you sooner or later, but if you do bad to other knowingly then you will meet a similar fate sooner or later. Never mind the repurcussions but always do good deeds and try to take even the meanest of words or deeds in a positive manner. Try to overlook the negative aspects of an issue. If not anything it saves you from getting disturbed and prevents negativity in and around you.